Transitions to new life...

Alright, so when creating this blog, I told myself that I would post every month...not so much. I do have so much on my mind, and am so excited to start the new chapter to mine and Shaun's story...well, I am getting there...a little nervous, and a little scared. I feel like I am leaving an old life and starting something brand new...which is a little dramatic, but kind of true. Before thoughts of Ryanne, or even thoughts of marriage, I wanted to storm the streets of New York and "shout for Jesus". Well, actually, that was right after I got out of Bible School...lol. Instead I started working for the YMCA...lol. So, I guess it was kind of shouting for Jesus, in the streets of Monroe, Washington...lol. When Shaun and I got married, I knew that we would have kids, but it wasn't really what I wanted right away, or even secretly ever...then the day came where we were signed up to work in our church nursery...I knew it. I just knew I wanted a baby. Shaun too, actually Shaun wanted one first. So, then our journey began...it was funny because I was told so many different stories of how it took so long to get pregnant, especially if you were on the pill, and of course, me being me, I didn't even go completely off of the pill. I just "kind of" stopped. If Shaun and I got into a disagreement, that was it, I was taking all the pills that I had missed earlier that week, because in my head, I didn't want to raise a child in a "bad situation". Once again, I was being a little dramatic. So after month one, no baby. Phew. Month Two, was a different story! BABY!!! Since then we have moved, and getting ready for baby...well, baby is almost here, and life is going to be different. My favorite thing about being pregnant is hearing all of the war stories about pregnancy, and birth, Oh, gosh, how I am so scared of birth!! Seriously, I hate pain. I know every woman says, "once you see that baby, you will foget the pain". Really, Really? How about the fact that during labor, it's still going to hurt!!! ALOT!! Yeah, there wasn't any real warning either about how crazy tired I would be, or how about when my foot was so swollen I could barely walk, and Shaun says, "if you don't watch it, you are going to get ELEPHANTITUS!" How about this...more tears for a drama queen=no good. Well, there is no choice in how fast your blood can reach boiling in like .5 seconds....lol
My favorite was when I went in for a doctor's appt. and my doctor literally asked me, "so do you hate being pregnant..." Come to find out, it all goes away. A lot of it was that I was going too much, and I wasn't resting, and I wasn't drinking enough water. So, now, I drink like 20 gallons of water a day, and eat pretty descently, except the bbq chicken pizza I am eating right now! lol
So back to what I wanted to get off my mind in the first place...transitions. So, going back to shouting for Jesus...yeah, so Shaun and I feel like the best place for me to be is at home raising our daughter. We want her to be raised by me, not by anyone else. Not that I am saying that is bad for other people, just for our family, that is the choice we have made. I know a lot of great mothers who work outside of the home, and it works for them.
My last day at job #1 (YMCA) will be the third Saturday in June. This is the hardest job to leave. Not only do I have a sweet job, but I work with a lot of my friends, and have an unspoken accountability to Jesus through them. It has been the hardest job, but, I think I have grown and learned a lot from these people. And, I will miss my kids...now everyone who works with kids have "their kids", and I do, and I love them. The coolest thing about this job, is that most everyone I work with, have a love for the Lord. A deep love, wanting to live their lives for Him. That is probably the hardest thing to live. I am going to miss them a lot. Now, not that can't see them anytime, but it is so different, when you are working for the same mission together. I am so proud to have been able to work with these people. But, I have full confidence in whomever tat will be taking my place, will do an amazing job, because the Lord has huge plans for this program. And, to be completely honest, I am done. I loved the job, and I still do, but my heart isn't in it, the way it used to be. It is time to give someone else a chance to shine for Jesus.
But, I still have two more left, and I am so excited to enjoy these next two! So, whoever you are, who takes over my job, please just love the kids so much, and your volunteers!!
So, then I am watching a little girl right now, who cracks me up daily...not to mention homegirl takes like 2 two hour naps everyday...it's like a pregnant woman's dream...lol. So, that will be sad when that is over...big prayers out to her mommy who so bad wants to be at home with her. And, then I don't think I will be leaving job #3 wife and secretary. I love being a wife. 5 years ago,I didn't want to get married, but then God blessed me with the best gift ever, my husband. I love him so much. Of course, there are days where I am so frustrated, and I don't want to be at home, but at the end of the day, and I have my best friend with me, it is so good. Marriage is hard. It is not easy, well, communication is not easy...well, for me...most of the time the fighting ends up being because I was butt hurt over something ridiculous, or I just didn't use my "big girl words" and tell him, I needed something from him. So, going from working so much, and having a great accountability with a ton of amazing woman, to being a mommy. Not to say that women who stay at home with their kids, are not working. Wow. I know some incredible super women. They take great pride in their homes, and how they raise their kids. It is literally a 24 hour job. Seriously, laugh all you want, but spend a day with a woman who has two children, or is pregnant and have children too...you will be begging to go back to your 9-5 job. Two months ago I was so scared. Not knowing how we are going to get by, not knowing what God has in store for us...but last night, my husband and I had a great talk. It doesn't matter. We follow God's will regardless. We know for a fact God's Will for us, is that I am to stay home and raise our daughter, and Shaun is to provide for us. God has never left us, he has always provided for our needs. Sometimes abundantly, and other times, just enough to get by. But, regardless, the blessing, it is our job as his children to be obedient, even if it is so unheard of to most people. We know in our hearts, and through many nights of prayer and searching His Word, that that is how we are to live our lives. Now, not to say that I don't question, because I do. I have always been one to take care of myself, and always have been in survivor mode, but I am done with that. I am ready to just follow. Follow the Lord, and follow my husband....hopefully I will be an example to Ryanne Marie Shelly, in that she will know just to trust the Lord. And, to know that she will always be taken care of.