This last month has been a lot of chaos in my house. Shaun and I are frantically trying to get things ready for our little girl, who will be coming to town so soon...well, I am frantic, Shaun, not so much. I have to say, Shaun has been so wonderful to me, especially these last two months. Now, don't get me wrong, he still isn't very good at handling my psychotic harmonal moments...but neither am I. No joke, harmones are so crazy during pregnancy...Oh, how I remember when I had my first harmonal breakdown...like it was yesterday! We were visiting family and friends in Colorado this past December, and I went seperately to visit a friend, and so did he. When we met up, I got in the car and asked very excitedly, "Did you miss me?" (We were away from each other for like two hours!) Shaun replied with a, "Um, no?!?" I couldn't handle it, how could the love of my life, not miss me, who cares if we were only away from each other for two hours? In my head at that moment all I heard was, "Oh, man I was so glad to get away from her, it was so nice to not be with her, I actually hate her!" So, I did the most logical thing that I thought I could do, Um, I started crying hysterically!! Seriously, I am not a cryer, I rarely cried, no joke! Shaun is just looking at me, and of course he started laughing, which of course made it so much worse! After about 5 minutes of my losig my head, I started laughing too...so yeah, pretty much that is how my harmones have been on and off for the next nine months...I don't care what other preggo women say, it happens to ALL of us. I guess once you get pregnant, off goes a few lights in your head, which, seem to be the lights that make things a billion times worse...
Alright, I have definitely waundered off from what I wanted to write about, but, whatev, this is my blog, I can do whatever. Oh, yeah, so my husband has been a good sport in this area of my pregnancy. I would really enjoy hearing other preggo women's stories on how crazy they got during their pregnancies...bring it on ladies~
So, yes, we are definitely organizing the house, and the rec room and the patio and the cars and I want a new couch...yup, crazy things just pop into my head. I have never been pregnant before, so when women would talk of this such thing as "nesting" I really didn't get it. Well, ladies if you have never been preggers and when you do...oh, it happens. It happens. All of a sudden I am cleaning EVERYTHING. Not just once, but twice, and three times...It's crazy. Even when I get in the "nesting" mode, I can't stop, my husband is not a big fan of this "nesting business". I think he could do without it. You would think that I would slow down once I had everything cleaned, oh, no. Now I am ready to take a toothbrush to the walls. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have a dog who sheds all of the time, and a cat/kitten who wants to get into everything. I am so done chasing the cat, and telling the dog to get off of the couch or bed..or get out of the shower, or quit drinking the toilet water, or matter of fact GET OUT OF THE TOILET!!! And, trying to keep my animals in their crates, IMPOSSIBLE. I can't get rid of them, because as much as they annoy me, or makes it worse for my pregnancy OCD, I do love them. My solution, a water bottle. I can't move very fast, so I just spray them. If the cat is getting into my new beautiful curtains, I spray him. If he is in the toilet or eatig the dog food (he thinks he is a dog) I spray him. When he runs into the shower and won't get out, I turn on the shower...(that's my favorite...)When the dog is on the couch and he is not sopossed to be, he gets sprayed. Max doesn't get the water bottle very often, he is such a baby, he cowers from it. So, if you have a cat or dog who get in your way of nesting, get a spray bottle. My best advice so far.
Alrght, so on track to what I really wanted to dote about on my blog! RYANNE WILL BE HERE IN A MONTH AND A COUPLE OF DAYS!!!
Before this week, I had really been unsure of when I wanted her to come (like I have a choice) but, after getting the crib up, the new changing table, seeing all of her cute clothes, registering, and just really preparing for her...(including the crazy childbirth class we are taking) I just really want to hold her. Not to mention she is moving like crazy. I went and got my nails done and toes painted yesterday, and the guy who was painting my toes, had me put my hands in the dryer, and the dryer sat on my tummy, I was just minding my own business, when the dryer went flyig off of me. Ryanne was kicking it off of my belly. It was great. It was pretty neat too. Shaun had to take me there, because I just didn't want to drive (it really is a sight, watching a pregnant, and almost midget drive) so he took me. As he was passing out in the chair, I called him over, and he really got to feel her move at her fullest. She was putting on a show for her daddy. He has felt her before, but not a ton. Because she will move in the middle of the day, or when we are going to bed, so not too much. So, Shaun, me, Ryanne, and the toe guy all had a moment while Shaun was feeling his little girl move around so much! I think the lady in the chair next to me was crying, a little weird, but I guess it was something special!
For me, I have been feeling her move like crazy for the past month, and it is amazing. It really is like nothing else. I am amazed at how the Lord has blessed women to be able to endure a beautiful thing like pregnancy. Before being pregnant, I kind of joked...or even possibly made fun of pregnant women, but really it is an amazing opportunity to live out God's way for women. And, to be completely honest, the complaints that men would have..wow. Don't get me wrong I have had plenty of complaints. Try being 4'8 and having a baby, seems a little dramatic, no, not really. My doctor asked me one time if I hated being pregnant. And, to be honest, in the beginning it was awful. I actually thought about not having another one. I hated it, I would complain, or just be hurting, and people would look at me like, "oh Jodi's just being pregnant" No. Really, it sucked. I would try to justify it or whatever, or other women who had been pregnant before would just roll their eyes..Finally, I didn't really care anymore. I was over it. The worst is getting corpal tunnel. Why in the world do pregnant ladies get this? It hurts so much. I remember I had dropped my phone under my bed, I reached for it, and a pain went from my wrist all the way up my arm. No Bueno. But, on the positive light, there are fixes for all of these things. I just don't like to do them all...hence being my own problem!
Saturday is one of my baby showers and I am really excited. Lindsay is putting it all together, and Jessica and Emily are helping. That is a wonderful combo. You know for my bridal shower I was so excited for the presents..and more presents..but, I am so happy to be able to celebrate my daughter. What a wonderful thing to do..now before I had been pregnant, and moreso, being single, I hated baby showers, but now that I am having my own. It really is a blessed thing. I can definitely see how uncomfortable it can be and probably a little boring, but, for me, I am so excited to be a mommy and to have her and raise her for the Lord, and to have an incredible husband to do it with, I have nothing better to do then to celebrate my world with others!
I have to tell you, the saddest moments have been thinking about my mom not being here. It is such a bitter sweet thing. I loved my mom so much, but knowing that she is in heaven makes it so much easier for her. She didn't live the most amazing life, but now she is with her Savior, and that is perfect. Heaven is perfect for anyone. But, I do get sad thinking about how she would have loved being a Grandma, and how she would have loved her so much. Oh, how she would have loved Shaun. Shaun wouldn't know what to say to her half the time, but he would definitely been able to love her. I miss her, I miss how she was gracious to everyone and how she just got through life, even when it wasn't so easy for her. Her life wasn't easy, but she did it, and God did guide her in the end. I have had a lot of people in my life who have played my mom's role, which have been amazing and something I have needed, and still do at times, but if I could have her back for one hour, just to share this moment with her, I would love. Not more than I love her being with Jesus. See, that's the bitter sweet part. I love where she is, so I am okay with hurting for a while. Because, my God is so good to me, and even better to my mom. One day, we will all meet and it will be perfect.
Speaking of Jeus, I have had some amazing time with Him these last two weeks. Shaun and I have started a growth group at church and it has been phenominal. So many laughs, but also very convicting. So many things I want to pass to Ryanne and just be able to be a light to others, but at the same time, it has shown me weaknesses in who I am, and just how I thouht I had it all togheter, but how I could defintiely be treating Shaun so much better. How I don't want Ryanne to have expectations put on her that aren't necesary. So, I have been really working on this with Jesus. I bought a couple of studies and really have been loving them. And, I am really working on these things that I don't so much like about myself, but with God's grace, and the accountability I have, I am going to try so hard to get past some of these and be more consistant with my life and testimony to Jesus, and my family.
