She's almost 1...and then soon she will be almost 30...!!

Oh my goodness~ My sweet little girl will be 1 on July 28th...wow. Women usually say that the, "first year goes by so fast..."..and how it is so true. Sometimes I still look at her in amazement and wonder why Jesus chose to bless Shaun and I with such an awesome little girl.....actually, she is so awesome, even when she chooses to hit her mommy in the arm, face or leg...or actuallyanywhere her little hands can reach! She is going through a what I call, "finding herself" phase. May be a little new agey...but that is the only way I can describe it without getting frustrated with her, lol. My least favorite thing about my little stinkyface is, when we read to her, she will kiss every single page of the book, or even her creepy bear that talks...but, do you think mom and dad could get some good kisses...nope. She does give us really good hugs and has a smile on her face almost every part of the day. So, that makes up for it...Am I an awful parent cause I am whinning about her not loving us like she loves her books..lol. These last few months have been super crazy for the Nix family. We officially went fulltime with our Window Cleaning business. That has been such a blessing. Lots of work, but well worth it. Ever since we started the business Shaun had been working another fulltime job on top of the extra 30 hours he would put into the business every week...so Ry and I would see him at like 6am and then maybe again at 8 or 9pm at night...not a lot of fun. But in May he quit his full time job and we have just been focusing on the business. Which we are doing good. Lots of learning curves! But, well worth it. There is nothing better than being able to spend breakfast with your best friend everyday. I love it. I am so thankful for it. Not to mention Ryanne sees her dad so much more...she loves him so much! Speaking of that...I am like freaking chopped liver when it comes to daddy...I know that she is only 11 months, but I am pretty sure Ryanne is the master at run crawling...lol. She hears the key go into the door and she comes out of hiding (wherever she is at) and one foot on the ground and the other in crawling position...pretty sure she can get to the door in like 3.5 seconds. No matter where she is at~ No joke. Picture it with an army hat. Priceless. I didn't grow up with a dad figure in my life, actually I don't even know my real dad, so it is my favorite part of having a beautiful little girl. I pray that she will always be a daddy's girl. Today before Shaun left for work, he was dancing and twirling her all around the livingroom. And, I couldn't help but be so thankful to God for such and amazing daddy for my little girl.

This summer has been loads of fun, and it's only July~ In June we got to go visit family in Colorado. It was great to see everyone. Ryanne got to meet her family on Daddy's side. Her Uncle Todd, Her Uncle Chad, Aunt Katie and their sweet kids. Then we went and spent a night with her Uncle Oscar and Aunt Candi, and their almost brand new babygirl Sophia. Oh man, what a doll she is! Then off to visit with the Grandparents. While Shaun and Ry went and saw them, I got to go see one of my best friends, ms. nikki!

Later that night we got to go hang out with all of our friends...it was so nice to see so many great people! The Lewellen's, Jeramy, the Herrmanns, and of course Nikki~ We went out to dinner and then played some pool afterwards. Shaun and I stayed at Ry's and Whit's place, and they were so good to us! It was great~

It was a busy vacation, but much needed. Family is important....Oh! On the way there Ryanne said baby, and was kissing the book with the baby on it~! So sweet....Now, the plane ride home...wow. Everyone was ready to get home..including Ryanne. She was melting down left and right, it was nuts. I was so excited to land on Seattle ground...don't get me wrong..Colorado is nice...to visit. But, Seattle is home. Oh, I almost forgot one of the best things while we were in Colorado! Ms. Anna L. was so good to us! She did professional pictures of Ryanne and they turned out so good! Thanks again girl! We love you guys!

We were blessed the beginning of July to be able to go spend it with My Uncle Ba and Aunt Vicki. That would be Ryanne's great Uncle and Aunt..and boy did Ryanne love them! OOh, and Ms.Niqua came too. She is my second cousin and my Aunt and Uncle's granddaughter...lol. They have been building a beautiful home in Northport for quite a few years, and we got to go up there for the Fourth of July Weekend. It was great. We have been up there a couple other times, but, it was so good to see them, and for Ryanne to get to know them. Couple of first for Ryanne on our trip to Northport...an 8 hour car ride...her first 4th of July and she got to meet a HORSIE!! She was babbling and babbling to Ms.Ginger. It was super cute. She also found herself in quite the predicament when she got herself stuck in between a side table and the couch...I was laughing so hard! She didn't hardly eat anything but A.Vicki's potatoe salad...no joke. It was so good..lol. I wasn't really going to have any because I am doing a homeopathic version of the HHCG diet...oh, but I did..and it was so WORTH IT!! LOL. Speaking of the diet, I have lost 20lbs. in almost three weeks...(give or take my cheating...on it) And, I feel so good. I have a long ways to go, but, I also have been working out, and have cut the garbage out of my diet. I love it! I have until July 25th to finish, and then I think I will take a break...for 6weeks, and then try it back up again...we'll see how I am doing.

Next on the Nix agenda, you ask...well, Shaun and I have been looking for a new church, and really just praying and seeking God in the whole searching. We are looking at one, and we are excited to spend the summer there, and to see where God has us. Also, we have started a new marriage book..and Shaun and I both really passionate about losing weight and giving that glory to God, and to be able to set good healthy examples to our daughter. My goals for the summer are to be able to drop another 30lbs...making it a total of 5olbs...already at the 2olb. mark. To be able to finish all of my bible study/books that I have started this year. Most important to build my relationship with God, and to have him as my best friend, my husband my swedish fish, and my daughter right along side of us! And...we are thinking about extending our family...in the near future..not so soon, but, sooner than later!

3 week break...

I feel like this last few weeks have become some sort of blur..I literally have been sick for almost 4 weeks now. I am over it! Went to the doctor and I have bronchitis. Gross. I probably would have been feeling better if I wasn't so stubborn and went a week ago...but, whatev...the point is I went and now I have medicine. It's 5:32AM in the morning...and I AM UP. I even took the day off from my nanny job...and I AM STILL UP. Ridiculous. Back to my 3 week blur. About 2 months ago I started a few devotionals or books, call them what you will...The first being "The Purpose Driven Life" Yeah, I am still on day 17...and then started in a book with a wonderful friend, "Becoming the woman of his dreams" and finally,

"Becoming more than just a bible study girl".



And....I LOVE ALL OF THEM!! Seriously, I love them. I have learned (not always practiced) some really good stuff from all of them. A little tid bit that I took from Becoming the woman of his dreams, was on respecting your husband..."Respect is wrapped up in a beautiful paper of kind and gentle words and tied with the enormous ribbons of a loving spirit." It is one of the most amazing gifts a wife can give. And, as I read on, I read just one little sentence...and it stung me. In a good way. Not always do I get it, but, I got it after reading this..."Just as men are called to be the head of the home, the wife is called to be the heart of the home. When we are acting as the head, it is hard to be the heart. Advice that will be attached to my heart forever. The only thing is that I stopped reading these awesome books when I started to feel like crap. I honestly can see the difference in myself when I am not in some sort of study on God's Word. My attitude changes in a pretty dramatic way, and I get short with the people I love the most. Especially with my husband. He is the last person I want to be fighting and arguing with. Which regardless of if I am in a "study" or not I should have a better attitude...but, let's be real...God gifted us women (some of us a little more) with PMS. And it seems that I tend to vere off my readings when it close to that dreaded "time of the month". So, my goal these next few months is to be on the lookout for the days when I don't want to do any reading and I have a poor attitude, and I am going to go out of my way...(well, this is a goal...no one's perfect...) to be in God's Word, to find something everyday to Praise my beautiful God for. Like today...for instance...(just for fun, not because I am pmsing...lol) I have and amazing husband and daughter.

I really do not know how I lived life without either of them before they came into my life. Seriously, yesterday, I was so spent, I was so tired from being sick and tired, I was tired of being around kids all day...and I really missed spending time with just me and my daughter....so we went SHOPPING!! And, I cannot tell you how much that filled my "quality time bank" with my little stinkyface. Not to mention Momma started getting stuff ready for her very first EASTER basket! Oh, I know she is only 8 months, but, it was so much fun...I got her the cutest little flower headband, no, really she looks like a flower. Some new yummy treats! Some organic baby food...well, and the CUTEST very first easter basket ever. Not to mention, she was a blast in the store. Sitting up like a big girl.

Seriously, isn't she really the cutest baby ever! Who couldn't love that face...and I am not just saying this because she is my baby...she really is adorable.

Alright, now that it is almost 7am, I should probably start cleaning...stay tuned for my next blog on renovating furniture....yes. I don't know if that is really a word, but, that will be my new project...since we are moving, into a super cute place I am wanting to do some "shappy cheek" on the apartment and the sweet pile of "craps" that I have found on craigslist...well, they will become sweet piles of jewels when I am done...or I probably will be considered a hoarder...oh, gosh...until next time...(like in another three weeks when I get a day off.....)

So close!

This last month has been a lot of chaos in my house. Shaun and I are frantically trying to get things ready for our little girl, who will be coming to town so soon...well, I am frantic, Shaun, not so much. I have to say, Shaun has been so wonderful to me, especially these last two months. Now, don't get me wrong, he still isn't very good at handling my psychotic harmonal moments...but neither am I. No joke, harmones are so crazy during pregnancy...Oh, how I remember when I had my first harmonal breakdown...like it was yesterday! We were visiting family and friends in Colorado this past December, and I went seperately to visit a friend, and so did he. When we met up, I got in the car and asked very excitedly, "Did you miss me?" (We were away from each other for like two hours!) Shaun replied with a, "Um, no?!?" I couldn't handle it, how could the love of my life, not miss me, who cares if we were only away from each other for two hours? In my head at that moment all I heard was, "Oh, man I was so glad to get away from her, it was so nice to not be with her, I actually hate her!" So, I did the most logical thing that I thought I could do, Um, I started crying hysterically!! Seriously, I am not a cryer, I rarely cried, no joke! Shaun is just looking at me, and of course he started laughing, which of course made it so much worse! After about 5 minutes of my losig my head, I started laughing too...so yeah, pretty much that is how my harmones have been on and off for the next nine months...I don't care what other preggo women say, it happens to ALL of us. I guess once you get pregnant, off goes a few lights in your head, which, seem to be the lights that make things a billion times worse...

Alright, I have definitely waundered off from what I wanted to write about, but, whatev, this is my blog, I can do whatever. Oh, yeah, so my husband has been a good sport in this area of my pregnancy. I would really enjoy hearing other preggo women's stories on how crazy they got during their pregnancies...bring it on ladies~

So, yes, we are definitely organizing the house, and the rec room and the patio and the cars and I want a new couch...yup, crazy things just pop into my head. I have never been pregnant before, so when women would talk of this such thing as "nesting" I really didn't get it. Well, ladies if you have never been preggers and when you do...oh, it happens. It happens. All of a sudden I am cleaning EVERYTHING. Not just once, but twice, and three times...It's crazy. Even when I get in the "nesting" mode, I can't stop, my husband is not a big fan of this "nesting business". I think he could do without it. You would think that I would slow down once I had everything cleaned, oh, no. Now I am ready to take a toothbrush to the walls. I guess it wouldn't be so bad if I didn't have a dog who sheds all of the time, and a cat/kitten who wants to get into everything. I am so done chasing the cat, and telling the dog to get off of the couch or bed..or get out of the shower, or quit drinking the toilet water, or matter of fact GET OUT OF THE TOILET!!! And, trying to keep my animals in their crates, IMPOSSIBLE. I can't get rid of them, because as much as they annoy me, or makes it worse for my pregnancy OCD, I do love them. My solution, a water bottle. I can't move very fast, so I just spray them. If the cat is getting into my new beautiful curtains, I spray him. If he is in the toilet or eatig the dog food (he thinks he is a dog) I spray him. When he runs into the shower and won't get out, I turn on the shower...(that's my favorite...)When the dog is on the couch and he is not sopossed to be, he gets sprayed. Max doesn't get the water bottle very often, he is such a baby, he cowers from it. So, if you have a cat or dog who get in your way of nesting, get a spray bottle. My best advice so far.

Alrght, so on track to what I really wanted to dote about on my blog! RYANNE WILL BE HERE IN A MONTH AND A COUPLE OF DAYS!!!

Before this week, I had really been unsure of when I wanted her to come (like I have a choice) but, after getting the crib up, the new changing table, seeing all of her cute clothes, registering, and just really preparing for her...(including the crazy childbirth class we are taking) I just really want to hold her. Not to mention she is moving like crazy. I went and got my nails done and toes painted yesterday, and the guy who was painting my toes, had me put my hands in the dryer, and the dryer sat on my tummy, I was just minding my own business, when the dryer went flyig off of me. Ryanne was kicking it off of my belly. It was great. It was pretty neat too. Shaun had to take me there, because I just didn't want to drive (it really is a sight, watching a pregnant, and almost midget drive) so he took me. As he was passing out in the chair, I called him over, and he really got to feel her move at her fullest. She was putting on a show for her daddy. He has felt her before, but not a ton. Because she will move in the middle of the day, or when we are going to bed, so not too much. So, Shaun, me, Ryanne, and the toe guy all had a moment while Shaun was feeling his little girl move around so much! I think the lady in the chair next to me was crying, a little weird, but I guess it was something special!

For me, I have been feeling her move like crazy for the past month, and it is amazing. It really is like nothing else. I am amazed at how the Lord has blessed women to be able to endure a beautiful thing like pregnancy. Before being pregnant, I kind of joked...or even possibly made fun of pregnant women, but really it is an amazing opportunity to live out God's way for women. And, to be completely honest, the complaints that men would have..wow. Don't get me wrong I have had plenty of complaints. Try being 4'8 and having a baby, seems a little dramatic, no, not really. My doctor asked me one time if I hated being pregnant. And, to be honest, in the beginning it was awful. I actually thought about not having another one. I hated it, I would complain, or just be hurting, and people would look at me like, "oh Jodi's just being pregnant" No. Really, it sucked. I would try to justify it or whatever, or other women who had been pregnant before would just roll their eyes..Finally, I didn't really care anymore. I was over it. The worst is getting corpal tunnel. Why in the world do pregnant ladies get this? It hurts so much. I remember I had dropped my phone under my bed, I reached for it, and a pain went from my wrist all the way up my arm. No Bueno. But, on the positive light, there are fixes for all of these things. I just don't like to do them all...hence being my own problem!

Saturday is one of my baby showers and I am really excited. Lindsay is putting it all together, and Jessica and Emily are helping. That is a wonderful combo. You know for my bridal shower I was so excited for the presents..and more presents..but, I am so happy to be able to celebrate my daughter. What a wonderful thing to do..now before I had been pregnant, and moreso, being single, I hated baby showers, but now that I am having my own. It really is a blessed thing. I can definitely see how uncomfortable it can be and probably a little boring, but, for me, I am so excited to be a mommy and to have her and raise her for the Lord, and to have an incredible husband to do it with, I have nothing better to do then to celebrate my world with others!

I have to tell you, the saddest moments have been thinking about my mom not being here. It is such a bitter sweet thing. I loved my mom so much, but knowing that she is in heaven makes it so much easier for her. She didn't live the most amazing life, but now she is with her Savior, and that is perfect. Heaven is perfect for anyone. But, I do get sad thinking about how she would have loved being a Grandma, and how she would have loved her so much. Oh, how she would have loved Shaun. Shaun wouldn't know what to say to her half the time, but he would definitely been able to love her. I miss her, I miss how she was gracious to everyone and how she just got through life, even when it wasn't so easy for her. Her life wasn't easy, but she did it, and God did guide her in the end. I have had a lot of people in my life who have played my mom's role, which have been amazing and something I have needed, and still do at times, but if I could have her back for one hour, just to share this moment with her, I would love. Not more than I love her being with Jesus. See, that's the bitter sweet part. I love where she is, so I am okay with hurting for a while. Because, my God is so good to me, and even better to my mom. One day, we will all meet and it will be perfect.

Speaking of Jeus, I have had some amazing time with Him these last two weeks. Shaun and I have started a growth group at church and it has been phenominal. So many laughs, but also very convicting. So many things I want to pass to Ryanne and just be able to be a light to others, but at the same time, it has shown me weaknesses in who I am, and just how I thouht I had it all togheter, but how I could defintiely be treating Shaun so much better. How I don't want Ryanne to have expectations put on her that aren't necesary. So, I have been really working on this with Jesus. I bought a couple of studies and really have been loving them. And, I am really working on these things that I don't so much like about myself, but with God's grace, and the accountability I have, I am going to try so hard to get past some of these and be more consistant with my life and testimony to Jesus, and my family.

Transitions to new life...

Alright, so when creating this blog, I told myself that I would post every month...not so much. I do have so much on my mind, and am so excited to start the new chapter to mine and Shaun's story...well, I am getting there...a little nervous, and a little scared. I feel like I am leaving an old life and starting something brand new...which is a little dramatic, but kind of true. Before thoughts of Ryanne, or even thoughts of marriage, I wanted to storm the streets of New York and "shout for Jesus". Well, actually, that was right after I got out of Bible School...lol. Instead I started working for the YMCA...lol. So, I guess it was kind of shouting for Jesus, in the streets of Monroe, Washington...lol. When Shaun and I got married, I knew that we would have kids, but it wasn't really what I wanted right away, or even secretly ever...then the day came where we were signed up to work in our church nursery...I knew it. I just knew I wanted a baby. Shaun too, actually Shaun wanted one first. So, then our journey began...it was funny because I was told so many different stories of how it took so long to get pregnant, especially if you were on the pill, and of course, me being me, I didn't even go completely off of the pill. I just "kind of" stopped. If Shaun and I got into a disagreement, that was it, I was taking all the pills that I had missed earlier that week, because in my head, I didn't want to raise a child in a "bad situation". Once again, I was being a little dramatic. So after month one, no baby. Phew. Month Two, was a different story! BABY!!! Since then we have moved, and getting ready for baby...well, baby is almost here, and life is going to be different. My favorite thing about being pregnant is hearing all of the war stories about pregnancy, and birth, Oh, gosh, how I am so scared of birth!! Seriously, I hate pain. I know every woman says, "once you see that baby, you will foget the pain". Really, Really? How about the fact that during labor, it's still going to hurt!!! ALOT!! Yeah, there wasn't any real warning either about how crazy tired I would be, or how about when my foot was so swollen I could barely walk, and Shaun says, "if you don't watch it, you are going to get ELEPHANTITUS!" How about this...more tears for a drama queen=no good. Well, there is no choice in how fast your blood can reach boiling in like .5 seconds....lol
My favorite was when I went in for a doctor's appt. and my doctor literally asked me, "so do you hate being pregnant..." Come to find out, it all goes away. A lot of it was that I was going too much, and I wasn't resting, and I wasn't drinking enough water. So, now, I drink like 20 gallons of water a day, and eat pretty descently, except the bbq chicken pizza I am eating right now! lol
So back to what I wanted to get off my mind in the first place...transitions. So, going back to shouting for Jesus...yeah, so Shaun and I feel like the best place for me to be is at home raising our daughter. We want her to be raised by me, not by anyone else. Not that I am saying that is bad for other people, just for our family, that is the choice we have made. I know a lot of great mothers who work outside of the home, and it works for them.
My last day at job #1 (YMCA) will be the third Saturday in June. This is the hardest job to leave. Not only do I have a sweet job, but I work with a lot of my friends, and have an unspoken accountability to Jesus through them. It has been the hardest job, but, I think I have grown and learned a lot from these people. And, I will miss my kids...now everyone who works with kids have "their kids", and I do, and I love them. The coolest thing about this job, is that most everyone I work with, have a love for the Lord. A deep love, wanting to live their lives for Him. That is probably the hardest thing to live. I am going to miss them a lot. Now, not that can't see them anytime, but it is so different, when you are working for the same mission together. I am so proud to have been able to work with these people. But, I have full confidence in whomever tat will be taking my place, will do an amazing job, because the Lord has huge plans for this program. And, to be completely honest, I am done. I loved the job, and I still do, but my heart isn't in it, the way it used to be. It is time to give someone else a chance to shine for Jesus.
But, I still have two more left, and I am so excited to enjoy these next two! So, whoever you are, who takes over my job, please just love the kids so much, and your volunteers!!
So, then I am watching a little girl right now, who cracks me up daily...not to mention homegirl takes like 2 two hour naps everyday...it's like a pregnant woman's dream...lol. So, that will be sad when that is over...big prayers out to her mommy who so bad wants to be at home with her. And, then I don't think I will be leaving job #3 wife and secretary. I love being a wife. 5 years ago,I didn't want to get married, but then God blessed me with the best gift ever, my husband. I love him so much. Of course, there are days where I am so frustrated, and I don't want to be at home, but at the end of the day, and I have my best friend with me, it is so good. Marriage is hard. It is not easy, well, communication is not easy...well, for me...most of the time the fighting ends up being because I was butt hurt over something ridiculous, or I just didn't use my "big girl words" and tell him, I needed something from him. So, going from working so much, and having a great accountability with a ton of amazing woman, to being a mommy. Not to say that women who stay at home with their kids, are not working. Wow. I know some incredible super women. They take great pride in their homes, and how they raise their kids. It is literally a 24 hour job. Seriously, laugh all you want, but spend a day with a woman who has two children, or is pregnant and have children too...you will be begging to go back to your 9-5 job. Two months ago I was so scared. Not knowing how we are going to get by, not knowing what God has in store for us...but last night, my husband and I had a great talk. It doesn't matter. We follow God's will regardless. We know for a fact God's Will for us, is that I am to stay home and raise our daughter, and Shaun is to provide for us. God has never left us, he has always provided for our needs. Sometimes abundantly, and other times, just enough to get by. But, regardless, the blessing, it is our job as his children to be obedient, even if it is so unheard of to most people. We know in our hearts, and through many nights of prayer and searching His Word, that that is how we are to live our lives. Now, not to say that I don't question, because I do. I have always been one to take care of myself, and always have been in survivor mode, but I am done with that. I am ready to just follow. Follow the Lord, and follow my husband....hopefully I will be an example to Ryanne Marie Shelly, in that she will know just to trust the Lord. And, to know that she will always be taken care of.

Being sick...and spaghetti strings.

Well, it's definitely 7:30am...I don't have anything too profound to say. Except that I am trying to be excited that I am pregnant...even if I am sick. It is not a lot of fun, because I can't really take any medicine..and I don't even want to take the emergency packets that I normally take, because of our scare with baby this week...which I have to say was really scary. Shaun of course was like, "it's okay no matter what happens, God is in control". I was a different story. I definitely didn't know what to say to the nurse who had told me earlier on the phone, "...yeah, some women come in at 12 and 13 weeks, and there's no baby in the sac." So matter of a fact too. I think her words scared me more than the spotting that I was having. So, we went in for an ultra sound and THE BABY WAS IN THE SAC!!!! It was incredible. I started crying, (I don't normally cry too often, although, since being married I cry a lot more) and Shaun was just in awe looking at the monitor, and talking about how amazing the technology was....honestly, it was the most relieving moment of my life. It was so weird. Nothing else seemed to matter to me. As I type my heart is pounding even more, and I am starting to get a little teary eyed. Shaun and I have created, (well, God did even more) a little baby in my belly. I don't think until this moment I have realized how special it is. Last night, I was talking to my roommate, (who I love so much) and just telling her how God is using my child, (and definitely my cousin's two beautiful little girls) to change our generational sin. How many times I have been to my younger cousin's house to rescue him from his pit of hell, and how many times my brother calls me to fix his heart that is hurting for my mother, who he can't get past, because he has no forgiveness or even anything in his heart to give him peace about her. So many family functions where I have been the "black sheep" for my past attitude, or past hurts, or just the pain my family has caused in my life...Nope, not anymore. I pray to my God that our child, will not see that. That he/she will see God's peace, and unconditional love. God do I pray. It almost hurts my heart already to know that my child will endour his/her own pain growing up. But, hopefully Shaun and I will be good enough parents, to guide them to the right source, for peace with their hurts and sorrows. The best thing about having my own child is, he/she is God's first then Shaun and mine. It is amazing to think at when I was a first Christian, or shoot, even right before I got married, I didn't want children. I don't even know how I was going to marry. There were too many people in the world that needed saving, and I wanted to be apart of it so bad. So that definitely meant there wasn't going to be any time for marriage and babies...until God brought Shaun into my life...but, now I wouldn't take it back for a million years. I love my husband more than anything. To be able to come home after a junky day, and just lay in his arms...and hear him tell me that everything is okay, and then, to lead us in prayer. That is the best part, is having someone else in your life love God as much as you do, and then to also know our God's unconditional love. That is what I love about Shaun so much. Someone could be the biggest jerk to me, so something so rude, and it really be out of line, and Shaun will lead me back to the cross with that person. Sometimes, we will even pray for that person...(after I am done complaining and venting..lol) but, we always come to the conclusion that whoever "did me wrong" or didn't appreciate Shaun, that it isn't about us, it's about God, and how we can be used in their life..or what we are sopposed to be learning...or mabe, (not a lot, lol ) how could we have fixed our own attitude, or pride, and even how to be more humble.

Wow, I have definitely veered off from my first thought of being sick and pregnant at the same time...so, since I have become pregnant, my heart is changing. Knowing that I have nine months to straighten out some things about me..especially being the new year and all, I have a list of things I would like to work on before mommyhood comes...

1. I want to eat good during my pregnancy

2. Be able to control my attitude, even if I know someone else is wrong, I don't want my child
growing up to be a little hot head. Obviously, I also don't want to raise them thinking they have to give in everytime someone is terrible, but to have a unconditional love and to give large amounts of grace, even if someone doesn't deserve it right away.

3.Finish my counseling certification

4.Making my marriage with Shaun as strong as I can personally do. To some people the idea of putting your husband before your child is completely and utterly wrong. Well, that is what I want to be able to do. I don't know how, cause I love serving others, and I hate to say this, but sometimes even more than I love serving my husband....so my heart wants Shaun to be put in that place above all others but of course, God.

5.Stop listening to garbage...I hate the saying, "Garbage in, Garbage out", but it's so true...I know many two year olds who repeat everything...the last thing I would want is my child to start singing something like...."how do you want it..." or "she moves her body like a cyclone..." really, or how about, "I want to take a ride on your disco stick"...lol as I am listening to it right now....not to mention it can be a terrible testimony...BUT I LOVE IT!!!! Honestly, I want God to change my heart in this area...it'll be crazy hard.

6.To have our finances in place. Not that we are completely awful....well, the last 6 months have been terrible. To teach our children that it's okay to have money in the bank...to teach them about tithing, and how important it is to do. To show them how to save, to use a checkbook, to give to others when hurting and in need. To be able to go on family vacations without struggling....now, not to get confused with spoiling our kids with money. Nope. I remember working hard for special outings, and clothes and candy, whatever it was at the time, I felt I was in need of some money when I was younger. To be able to teach our children they need to be responsible for their actions including money is huge to me. NO CREDIT CARDS!!!! EVER!!!! that was a sidenote.

7.Most importantly, to teach them an incredible relationship with God, one they can cling to in all of their emotions. God, I just pray right now that you would guide our children to you, that they would be a loud voice for you in this fallen world. That when put in the middle of a scary situation they would know to call on you for strength. Also, when things are awesome and amazing that they would praise you with their mouths and hearts with thanks. God, I pray that you would guide Shaun and I as parents that we would be able to bring them to the cross, and not guide them with our useless words. That they would see you in us and our marriage. That God, you would help them to know that they need not to please man but to please you. To know that is what will bring them peace, is your holy presence. I pray against the enemy now, that you would guard them against the enemy in your name, that you would protect them from unneeded pain and hurt, to help them fight against the enemy's ways. Not to say that they won't go through pain, but to discipline them through that if needed, and to love them through it with your amazing unconditional love. God, I just pray that Shaun and I would stay humble as parents, and that we would be able to weed out all of the words of man, and that we would raise our children to be servants of Yours...I love you Jesus, and thank you for this amazing opportunity to love so deeply, without strings. Lord, guide me, help me to love you first above my husband and child. Help me to get my cup filled from you first. Then to fill Shaun and baby's..Thank you for an opportunity to change my family's generational sins. Lord, thank you for bringing me to this point...Your name I pray.